I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
