My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize