Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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