your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
