get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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