Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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