I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
