Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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