Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
