She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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