I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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