I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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