She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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