Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize