I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize