Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
