Can i not drive my cunt home
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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