I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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