Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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