For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
