Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
