I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
