Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
