But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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