he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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