So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
