well you can't waste a boner
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Enjoy the penises
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
