Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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