Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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