I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
