so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
please don't ironically join a cult
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