He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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