i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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