and next time when you feel me up, do it right
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
