that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
