I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
