Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
