Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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