My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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