No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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