we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
