You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
