I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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