i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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