Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
