I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
