He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i will never coherently bang her
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
