I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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