Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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