I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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