You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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