I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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