yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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