omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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