East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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