My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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