She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
