ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
