Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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